The day is finally upon us. Today is the day we in the New Mexico Dark Side Brew Crew turn ArtBar dark. Very dark. Dark cabaret, dark music, dark trivia, and above all else, dark beer. It shall flow tonight.

Welcome to the Dark Ages!

We realize some of you may still be going “what the heck are those crazy beer fanatics talking about?” So here are a few quick FAQs.

What are you guys doing hosting a Beer Week event? Don’t you just review these things?

Well, we got together with our friends at Tractor back in March and started plotting out our very own event. The folks at Tractor are awfully creative and many of their staffers are actual professional performers/actors. We in the Crew are a bunch of goofballs. It all came together.

But can you guys actually host a show? Do you have any performing experience?

Absolutely not! But that’s why we have the amazingly talented and supremely awesome Lauren Poole as our primary host. She will do all the “heavy lifting,” so to speak, and coach us through the shenanigans.

There’s a cover charge. Why should I pay $10 to come see you guys?

Well, the bulk of the proceeds of this event go to help our friends in Blackout Theater Company. That’s Lauren’s group, for those unaware. They not only put on plays and improv, but also work with children and the general public in helping to bring performance art to the masses.

All right, fine, but what am I in for? Is this going to be some variation on the Reptilian Lounge?

We admit that Tricklock’s awesome improv show did help inspire us, but there will be some differences. Chief among them, beer trivia! In between our various performers, Lauren and I will be presenting a trivia question to the audience. Each question will be multiple choice. The questions will revolve around some aspect of dark beers and/or local beers and breweries. You will write down the answer and your name on a piece of paper which will then be collected. All the correct answers will be placed in a bucket and one prize winner will be drawn. We have some sweet swag to give away from Broken Bottle, Bosque Brewing, and the Crew itself, from T-shirts to growlers (not filled, we can’t do that for you, sorry), all the way up to our final prize, the brewery membership of your choice, which we will buy for you!

Beer Trivia sounds fun. What else do you have in store for us?

Music will be provided by E-Rock and members of his Middle Eastern band, Sadaqah. They will be playing some unique covers of songs from a certain “Dark Side” album. We will have belly dancers and burlesque dancers, Paul the Poet, and Barney Lopez of Blackout and Red Light Cameras will be performing … something. It’s a surprise. Plus get ready for the Amy Winehouse-inspired band House of Wine. There will be plenty of sights and sounds to behold.

You have almost sold me. Now the important question: what beers will be on tap? Just Tractor beers, right?

We will have two Tractor beers, the Double Plow Oatmeal Stout and the Chocolate Stout. But, man (and woman) cannot live off two beers alone, no matter how delicious they might be. A number of other local breweries were generous and sent us their own dark beers for us to consume. Il Vicino and Broken Bottle will have their burly Black IPAs for the hopheads in the crowd. La Cumbre’s Baltic Porter and Bosque’s Olde Bosky will provide us with two variations of porters. If you need a coffee kick, Marble’s Stout Americano (which is out at the downtown pub) is around to keep you awake. And finally, a bit thanks to our friends from up north at Odell for sending us dessert, also known as Lugene Chocolate Milk Stout.

All right, fine, I’m in. Should I pay at the door or in advance?

We highly recommend you pay in advance, which you can do here. Events at ArtBar often sell out.

But wait, where is ArtBar again? I know I’ve driven or walked past it.

ArtBar is located on the northeast corner of Gold and Second Street downtown. It is across the street from The Box. There is a lot of street parking in the area, or you can park in that same garage where you would go if you were seeing a movie at Century 14 Downtown or dining at that huge Brazilian restaurant around the corner. Doors open at 8:30 and the show starts at 9 p.m.

If you have any more questions, leave a message here, contact us on Facebook or via Twitter (@nmdarksidebc) or just email us at nmdarksidebrewcrew@gmail.com.

We hope to see as many of you that can make it out tonight!

Cheers!

— Stoutmeister and the rest of the NM Dark Side Brew Crew